All in the name of the subprime crisis/credit crunch.

Yes, you know the one they were going to avoid because they hadn't made the same mistakes as the northern hemisphere banks. But then had to lift their mortgage rates because, lo and behold, they were the innocent victims of a credit market gone feral.

Well, they haven't stopped at interest rates, I can tell you.

The banks have been surreptitiously raising capital, this time telling analysts that unlike their northern cousins they're doing it because they can, not because they have to. Sure.

They need the money because they're unwinding their structured investment vehicles, known as SIVs and, more to the point, they're scared stiff of the reaction to cutting their dividends.

These SIVs, not to be confused with SUVs - though in their own ways they're both a menace - helped magnify the credit boom fuelled by low interest rates.

They let the banks package their home loans and flog them to the market.

The beauty of it was that they got their money cheaply, at least before the credit crunch struck, and they could lend more because they were able to sneak around the capital requirement rules.

Getting these loans back on their books can only crimp their style.

Did I mention dividends? The northern hemisphere banks are slashing dividends as well as raising rights issues to preserve capital.

But an Australian bank that dared cut its dividend would soon be looking for a new board of directors.

So, instead, we're seeing de facto rights issues which will eventually dilute the banks' share prices.

The ANZ, NAB and Suncorp Metway "underwrote" their dividend re-investment plans, a sneaky way of raising capital as new shares are issued to the underwriters to pay those ingrates who demand cash.

Then Suncorp Metway, Macquarie and now Westpac issued what they call preferred or preference - perhaps we should be grateful they didn't try preferable, although it must have crossed their minds - securities.

Even then they have the cheek to make the interest payment "non cumulative", a fancy term for saying if they miss a payment then bad luck.

The odd thing is that the banks are struggling to find borrowers. Housing is in the doldrums and business loans have slumped from 25 to just 5percent growth, so whatever the reason for needing the money, it can't be for extra lending.

More likely it's to shore up the dividend and paper over their own excesses from the credit binge.

That would be great for shareholders but for the distinct drawback that they'll pay for it with a soft share price.